Looking Forward

What a roller coaster ride 2008 was for me! It seems like people always have the ‘best year’ of their lives or the ‘worst year ever’. We never seem to have “just okay” years whenever we reflect on New Years Day. 2008 fell more toward the ‘best year’ category for me, and I’m very excited about this upcoming year.

With that being said, I am one of the legions of fools across the world who makes New Years Resolutions, or whatever you want to call them. That particular term always gets a bad rap, but I’m a firm believer in the whole Lifestyle Design thing and I frequently review the goals that I set for myself. It’s not just a once a year deal for me. Setting and achieving goals is an every day process.

They say that you should make your goals as public as possible so that everyone can humiliate you when you fall off the gym bandwagon mid-January. So here is the list of the top 5 goals that I will be pursuing in 2009…when I gain 50 pounds and start a government job, I invite you to throw stones and loudly whisper behind my back haha.

1. Switching from part-time to full-time entrepreneur. I’m going to get 2 websites up and running when I can pull all the funds together. Going to revamp SoulstringsMusic.com and start a blog for my consulting business. I love playing, but I recently found that I love it as a hobby. I may still do a “feature length” tour with a well known band and do a little indie tour with my personal group, but the life of a full-time musician isn’t something I want to pursue. I enjoy the business side of things too much. Consulting and coaching is really my calling…me thinks. I hope to build a business that will allow me to freely travel and see new places and new things.

2. Starting up an “extreme” fitness routine…I love the gym, don’t get me wrong, but sometimes it can get a little monotonous for me.. I’ve heard great things about the p90x program, which is all about hardcore muscle confusion and wearing you out. I usually hate those home exercise programs because you don’t get to interact with people and I always feel like I’m not doing the workouts correctly, but I feel great about p90x so far. There wasn’t too much equipment I needed to buy to start up, and I would have bought most of the stuff eventually anyways.  I know that what you eat has a direct impact on your results, so I’m going to take the plunge into learning how to cook *gasp*. I would much rather prepare my own meals…the restaurant and fast food options around here leave MUCH to be desired.

3. Finding a long term partner. This actually will probably be the hardest goal for me to achieve. I like the excitement of dating, meeting new guys, and just having fun. Seeing someone exclusively for 3 months is no small feat for me at all. Last year I had a fantastic long(ish) term relationship and I want to repeat that this year. I’m so excited about getting married, growing spiritually and emotionally with one person and starting a family. Whenever marriage and family happen, it will happen, but in the meantime, I think it’s great to have that one steady partner in your life.

4. Expanding my support network. Since I have a [burning] desire to move out of the state by the end of the year, it’s important to build upon my social networking skills and cultivate a lasting community of friends no matter where I happen to end up geographically.

5. Continued music study. I literally bought a djembe and bongos an hour ago. I started playing the full drum kit late last year, and I would like to take some more drumming and percussion classes. I also want to learn more advanced music theory and take my sight reading on guitar and piano to the next level.

So remember, folks. If you see a 300 pound, single, friendless and rhythmless Tara walking around, it is your responsibility to gently nudge (or roll) me back in the right direction.

Have a BLESSED 2009, and always Give Thanks to our Creator each and every day.

Last Post Before NYC!

MAJOR EDIT: Oh no, stop the presses, gotta make some changes in the last post before NYC.

As everybody has probably heard, I will be on a sabbatical to Upper East Side Manhattan for the next few weeks (it would be great to not come back!). I wanted to post a mini-reflection on this historic moment since my blog will be morphing into an NYC journal within the next 2 days.

I am very proud of Barack Obama on this historic evening. All politics aside, it is so moving to see an African-American (fellow bi-racial, woohoo!) take the highest office in the country. Hold fast to dreams….

On this day I also celebrate the members of my own family, from my great great grandmother who was born into slavery to my father and his siblings who often marched for freedom. It is their victory too.

With that being said, I was deeply deeply deeply saddended to learn that Prop 8 passed in California along with a host of other anti gay measures across the country. It’s amazing to see how far we have come as a country and how far we have to go. I hope in my lifetime I will truly be able to witness equality for ALL in this country.

To those who don’t think racism is still alive in this country, I invite you to take a look at my Facebook account. Some of the status messages and wall posts that I saw last night shocked me.

We still have a lot of work to do.

NOW, time to get cracking and leave Maryland behind for awhile!

Just Say It…Obama is a Socialist.

I’ve been planning another “super post” since the ‘Jesus did not intend to start Christianity’ (as I have Earthsuit playing in the background while typing) one, and I think this is another appropriate topic to delve into. More prefaces:

1. I also used to be a flaming socialist for awhile, almost joined the party, but I didn’t want to have an FBI file on me at the age of 18 like some others in the family *cough*.

2. I won the sophomore oratory contest in high school advocating for the nationalization of health care in America.

3. I am a fan of Red Emma’s in downtown Baltimore, another flaming socialist institution.

4. I still don’t think of communism as a dirty word. Just an interesting concept that never seemed to work anywhere.

Okay, with those prefaces, I think I have enough socialist street cred to call Obama a flaming socialist, let’s just all say it. Taking wealth and “spreading it around” is a socialist concept. Trying to stimulate economic growth from the “bottom up” is a socialist concept (I would argue that the opposite of socialism is capitalism…just sayin’). Even though Obama has been crystal clear with regard to his intentions to “spread wealth around”, it seems as though some folks do not realize that they may be saying goodbye to a chunk of their income soon. We will now refer to this “spreading of wealth around” as the Socialist-Lite crew.

Let’s have some fun with the Socialist-Lite Camp.

I like to think of myself as an entrepreneur. Whether it’s coming up with a new fundraiser for the church youth group, developing a marketing plan for my future businesses, or working on academic research for the business plans I work on, I absolutely love entrepreneurship. I certainly do not come from a family (or city, for that matter) of entrepreneurs. My mother is a teacher, loves scrapbooking, is fantastic with design and crafty stuff, doesn’t really have a taste for CNBC or Donald Trump literature. My father is also a teacher and is more into the technology side of things, but he is also very creative guy. He is not tremendously impressed by CNBC or Donald Trump literature either. In fact, virtually nobody in my family is and I only have maybe 2 or 3 friends who are successful entrepreneurs. Yes, creativity is a large part of entrepreneurship, but when it comes to being self-employed and developing new business ideas, nobody in my immediate family is really into that sort of thing. Instead of hanging on the block with my homies and playing Xbox live 24 hours a day, I chose to do more constructive things with my time.

I’m not a multi-million dollar business woman (yet haha) and I’m not particularly obsessed with making a pile of cash. But I like to think that I’m pretty well versed in tax law, incorporating, investing, small businesses, moreso than probably many business owners. With the right combination of patience, education, WORK and creaitivity, I think that building different types of wealth is extremely possible in America. I did not always hold this viewpoint until I pursued my entrepreneurial interests outside of my classes. I think it’s really sad that a person who pours their blood and tears into building financial wealth will be told by the government where THEIR investments are going. I know I know, many small business peeps just become skilled at writing off their expenses before taxes, but it’s still YOUR money.

I will tell you why I jumped ship on Socialist-Lite camp to Capitalist camp using an example that is very close to home for me. Baltimore. Most of the Socialist-Lite camp in Baltimore, Black and White alike, would have you to believe that the dire situation in Baltimore will be greatly improved by a re-distribution of wealth. As soon as you pour $$ into the school systems, build affordable housing and bring jobs to the City that will remove youth from the streets, things are going to be amazing. This rhetoric is poured on heavy by my favorite soul+spoken word scene, Black churches, Academia Land and communist coffeehouses. Stick it to the man, snitches! Lift up the poor!

There is absolutely nothing wrong with lifting up the poor. I’m pretty sure that is what YHWH commands us to do and this was the practice of many of the early churches. There are a few major holes, however in how Socialist Lite camp attempts to address this problem and how the early church DID address the problem. We are also leaving out numerous examples around the world of how impoverished people are doing extremely well in their schools, not succombing to gangs and violence and building up their communities in amazing ways. When asked why she chose to build a school in South Africa as opposed to Baltimore, Oprah simply said that kids in Baltimore could care less if she built a school here.

Our problem in the States is not a lack of money, wealth or resources reaching the people. Baltimore spends more money per student than the entire state of Maryland. My mom talks about how the military and colleges try to recruit her students EVERY DAY. Our problem is what I like to call Victimology. The theory of Victimology makes excuses for poor performance. The theory of Victomology places personal problems on others. The theory of Victimology contends that power is something that can only be given. I think the greatest irony in this whole Baltimore mess is that our ancestors, the great Civil Rights Freedom Fighers did not sit back and succomb to Victimology. They began their own schools. They formed their own sports leagues. They began their own churches. They FOUGHT for their civil liberties. They were the greatest of entrepreneurs. Their victories had nothing to do with how much money they could come up with or even how many resources they could pull together. No matter how hard the challenge, our Freedom Fighter ancestors took it upon themselves to make the most out of their lives, they did not wait for the government to hand them happiness in the form of a check.

Duke Ellington, Jimi Hendrix, Billie Holiday, Jackie Robinson, Booker T. Washington. Their accomplishments are beyond amazing, even by today’s standards, yet they all were victims of unbelievable discrimination each and every day of their lives. None of them would live to reap the full benefits of the Civil Rights Movement. And yet the Thurgood Marshalls and Bea Gaddys were some of the most generous community members to ever live. Much like the early church, these African American pioneers banded together out of the innate goodness of their own hearts.

Socialism-Lite Camp does not offer this type of innate and spiritual goodness. It is a cold mandate from Washington that will most likely divide more people than it will unite. Poverty, violence, inadequate health care…these problems are certainly not new or unique to any ethnic population. As history and various global circumstances have shown us, pouring money onto situations of these magnitudes will not do much good. The African continent receives millions and millions of dollars every year, yet it never seems to reach the people and it never seems to settle the “debt”.

Change we can believe in? The only change we can believe in comes from OUR HEARTS. Change has to come as much out of the young gangster from downtown Baltimore as it does from the detached Washington politician.

A quick ending note….I think one of the saddest case studies where I have seen this play out is in the music scene in Baltimore. Just like the churches, the music scene here is incredible segregated. And over the past five years or so, the White indie scene has seriously put the Black soul/spoken word/gospel/indie scene to SHAME. I can’t even keep count of how many bands now are signed to major indie labels, started their own HUGELY successful indie labels, are traveling the world, the list goes on. Rolling Stone even did a piece on Baltimore being the “best scene”. You will absolutely not find a better music scene outside of Baltimore or Brooklyn, New York. With everything else, this has absolutely nothing to do with who is more talented or who has more money. At the end of the day it’s about who puts Victimology behind them and gets the job done. It’s about who is willing to pursue their dreams with everything that they have in them. I think the Black music scene in Atlanta is probably a great example of this, so it doesn’t look like I’m picking on Black folks haha.

Don’t wait for the government to inspire you and make a change in your community. Being an American citizen with access to free libraries (with free internet), free speech, free education, it just don’t get a whole lot better. We are far from being the greatest country in the world, or in history, but we have an unbelievable amount of opportunities to puruse our dreams and in the process help out our fellow neighbors. But, whether or not you do that, is up to YOU.

Thoughts and Prayers.

Without going into too much personal detail, the tragedy that struck Jennifer Hudson and her family this week has left me so sad these past few days. I can’t even begin to write about all the women and men I know (even fam) who do not make wise decisions when it comes to their children’s well-being. We live in a selfish world that seeks to place the needs of SELF above others. I feel so strongly about this that if I ever had children and divorced or God-forbid my partner was called Home early, I wouldn’t really consider dating until my child/ren were grown and out of the house, unless Jesus Christ came down and there was writing in the sky that my new partner and child/ren got along beautifully. Kids have an intuition that most adults miss out on. I’ve just seen too much destruction to children from these situations, and it’s something I don’t personally agree with. I know that we all have secrets and dark spots in our lives, but sometimes “love” really does blind you.

Somebody made a comment on another website that summed up my thoughts:

But let this be a lesson to women who just cannot leave bad seeds alone! You cannot change these men and honest to god no amount of loneliness or whatever it is that draws them to you is worth having them in your life. And those that are mothers – dear god please think of your children. Your children are your priority first, last and always. I know that even the most respectable of men can have deep secrets or commit heinous crimes such as this – but when the handwriting is on the wall like this as it had to have been when Julia King met this man… the red flags were seriously waving. I think that there is probably a bit more to this story than anyone is aware – but the bottom line is that Balfour was a man that no woman with a child should have ever gotten involved with..

Every time I see this on the news…even thinking about it while typing this makes me cry . I’m so tired of the violence in our communities, especially the violence toward our young men… I need a happy post soon. I’ll be an advocate for the kids until the day that I die. I wish people would star treating them like YESHUA did. They are our FUTURE.

The Kingdom

If I didn’t make it onto prayer lists by now, this should be the nail in my religious coffin. Woohoo!!!!! Yeah, so if you are easily offended by frank religious discussion, then this is not the blog for you. As always, I WELCOME discussion and feedback.

Now kids…one of the most important things I have learned over the past few years is how arrogant you can come off by saying things like, “Sarah Palin is an idiot and Chewbacca is the coolest wookie who ever walked the face of this earth.” I know it’s incredibly arrogant to frame everything you say by acting like it’s the absolute truth, and it’s much better to remind your listeners at home that the views you have are your own personal opinions, shaped and molded from your personal experiences. Therefore, I do not claim to know the entire truth or even pretend to have 1/1,000,000th of the entire picture. With that being said-

Something has bothered me for a long, long, long time. I’ve always had a rebellious nature, marching to the beat of my own djembe. Especially when it comes to the Churches and Religions of the world. I have a really bad problem with judging. When something doesn’t make sense to me, I judge it. I judge it and critique it harshly. The particular religion and churches (I just say Church to use as a broad term) I was raised in, is one of those things that I’ve struggled with. And judged. And critiqued. Harshly.

My source of confusion, anger and harsh judgement basically stems from this: If you claim to be a follower of Christ and join the Christian church (Protestant, Catholic, Mormon, whatever brand) you should be so different from the rest of the world that it’s pretty obvious something is up with you. This concept is what I call ‘change’. Apparently, my definition of ‘change’ and the Church’s definition of ‘change’ is not the same thing.

My favorite, favorite, favorite author/self-help guru/all-around badASS is Dr. Stephen R. Covey. Dr. Covey isn’t really the first person to talk about what effective ‘change’ is, but I think he does it very well. The thesis of his awesome-o book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People goes something like this:

This new level of thinking is what Seven Habits of Highly Effective People is about. It’s a principle centered, character-based ‘inside out’ approach to personal and interpersonal effectiveness. ‘Inside-out’ means to start first with self; even more fundamentally, to start with the most inside part of self-with your paradigms, your character and your motives.

What I have seen result from the outside-in paradigm is unhappy people who feel victimized and immobilized, who focus on the weakness of other people and the circumstances they feel are responsible for their own stagnant situation. …I believe the source of the continuing problems in [the world] has been the dominant social paradigm of outside-in. Each involved group is convinced the problem is “out there” and if “they” (meaning others) would ’shape up’ or suddenly ’ship out’ of existence, the problem would be solved.

Similarly to Covey’s thesis, I believe that Jesus’s viewpoints on change, can be summed up by analyzing his late night talk with Nicodemus and in John the Baptist’s desert talks. (ps I’m using this really cool Bible called The Message which you should check out)

Exhibit A:

“Unless a person is born from above, it’s not possible to see what I’m pointing to–to God’s Kingdom.” (said Jesus to Nicodemus) “How can anyone,” said Nicodemus, “be born who has already been born and grown up? You can’t re-enter your mother’s womb and be born again. What are you saying with this ‘born-from-above’ talk? “

Jesus said, “You’re not listening. Let me say it again. Unless a person submits to this original creation–the ‘wind hovering over the water’ creation, the invisible moving the visible, a baptism into a new life–it’s not possible to enter God’s Kingdom.

~Jesus Christ and Nicodemus via John 3

While Jesus was living in the Galilean hills, John called ‘the Baptizer’ was preaching in the desert country of Judea. His message was simple and austere, like his desert surroundings: Change your life. God’s Kingdom is here.

~John the Baptist via Matthew 3:2

“I’m baptizing you here in the river, turning your old life in for a kingdom life. The real action comes next: The main character in this drama–compared to him I’m a mere stagehand–will ignite the kingdom life within you, a fire within you, the Holy Spirit within you, changing from the inside out. He’s going to clean house–make a clean sweep of your lives

~John the Baptist via Matthew 3: 11-12

What I feel that the Church has successfully done is transformed the original teachings of Christ into yet another quick-fix, outside-in, heal all, religion. I have never quite been able to grasp why the Church is so often riddled with the worst of human problems and behaviors. The worst of them all being mediocrity. It’s almost always filled with people whose behaviors seem to be the exact opposite, and I mean, the EXACT opposite of what they claim to deeply believe in. So, much of the world looks at this conundrum with bewilderment and disbelief, the opposite effect the Church would like to have on the world. How can it be that so much “un-Christlike” behavior comes out of the Church and is often sanctioned by the Church? asks the rest of the world.

In my personal experience, the Christian Church has successfully attracted hurting, broken and very needy personalities (pretty much all of us haha) with charismatic teaching about a better life after this one if they JUST BELIEVE. The rest is HISTORY. You see my friend, you can believe that Jesus is the Son of God and be a prostitute, a drug dealer, chain smoker, cross dresser, Sarah Palin-loving person and STILL be Heaven bound. Make sure you sprinkle that belief with occasional church attendance, regular tithing, community service and Jesus and you are Heaven bound! What a sweet deal!

But is that really the correct way to look at this whole equation? Is simply having a decent combination of faith and corresponding actions the change that Jesus was referring to in his teachings?

Oh Jerusalem.

It’s no wonder that the Church has often become a misrepresentation of spiritual teachings. There is rarely an understanding of what this ‘inside-out’ approach really is. What ‘change your life’ really means. Instead, scripture is frequently taken out of its original context, watered-down and molded to fit into popular culture standards. Instead of being “apart” from the world, church services seem to often be a great indicator and reflection of what is going on in the popular culture, from the flat panel tv’s in the lobbies right down to the freakin’ sound effects in songs. The Church influences nothing about culture, it is the culture that influences the church. It has now become “cool” to show “secular people” that we, too, can participate in “their” world without betraying our Christian roots. We too, can have Christian music, Christian movies and Christian culture without alienating the rest of the secular world. And the best part about it, is that they’re COOL. COOL people are down for Christ.

Oh Jerusalem.

From what I have read and studied about the scriptures, really even from just your basic glance, it would seem that the ‘Kingdom’ being referred to is actually right here, right now. Not some unknown location with golden streets and choirs. The Kingdom life is already within us, according to the scriptures. God is present in all things, in all music, in all people, in all of Creation. Yahweh. But WE must first learn to see the world through the Spirit’s eyes. Through the eyes of the people that the Spirit has inspired, from Jesus to Mother Teresa. We must first ask ourselves what change will take place within us when this paradigm shift takes place? It is only when you see the world differently that you truly change your attitudes and behaviors.

Do we really see the world as Jesus did? as Yahweh does? as Mother Teresa did? as Gandhi did? Only then can that magical thing called love well up and spring from our spirit. Only then can we truly love others as we love ourselves. No amount of Christian music or emotional teaching from charismatic pastors will ever force this shift to take place within us. Only we can begin that mystical journey.

I know that Oprah took so much heat from that webcast she did with Eckhart Tolle regarding Tolle’s pretty controversial book A New Earth. I just remember this fundamentalist Catholic woman calling in saying, “Well I was raised to believe [insert everything the Christian religion holds sacred]” and Oprah just tore that woman’s beliefs UP, true to what Kathy Griffin would call her ’strong Black woman’ form. She basically told the woman, ” Well, my personal belief is that Jesus did not come to start Christianity. Therefore [insert every belief that would make the fundamentalist church go berserk].” At the time I just shook my head and muttered a mental ‘Word’ in solidarity, not yet fully processing what my psyche was sort of subconsciously acknowledging.

I do not, either, believe that Jesus came to start Christianity. At the time he rebelled against the Church and its movement away from the Spirit’s sacred teachings. Jesus’s goal, from what I take away from the New Testament scriptures, was to point people back to the Spirit and the importance of creating the Kingdom Life here on earth. Jesus’s message of love for enemies, of befriending the poor, of completely disassociating onself from the material world is a message that has once again been bogged down in terms of “faith” and “religion”, whose belief is the “truth”, who is going to “hell”, whose Church is “growing” more, who has the bigger and better Christian music collection.

Seek ye first the Kingdom….

Canada Is Looking Attractive…Again.

Thank God for Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. Number one.

Out of curiosity (and absolute disgust), I had to tune into the Republican National Convention to watch vice presidential candidate, Sarah Palin speak. While not a fan of internet gossip sites when it comes to politics (especially since I’ve taken a low profile politically), I was absolutely intrigued by the articles posted about Palin and her “family issues”. I’m even more amazed by how critical Republicans have been of the “liberal media” attacking her family and blaming the personal attacks on her being a woman. Funny…not only was Senator Clinton banned from playing the gender card, if Obama even mentions the fact that he is half African-American,  people are all over it.

While not the focus of this blog entry, I will say this. I actually don’t mind McCain at all. He seems to be pretty consistent with what he believes and supports…overall a solid conservative candidate. Had he picked Mitt Romney, I think we would have had an extremely fair and balanced race. Sarah Palin… what the hell?!?!?!?! I have too many negative things to say, so I will stop there…I don’t want to play the gender card  haha. As far as the convention itself…my family reunion has more people of color. We have three bi-racial people in the family now! Why couldn’t Condoleezza Rice, Colin Powell, SOMEBODY who speaks above a fifth grade level represent the Republican party at the convention? It has just come off so hick-ish to me. I will never understand why Americans feel the need for their presidents and politicians to be “good ole boys and now girls” who like moose burgers. Ah well…. Thank you John McCain for handing off victory to Barack. I owe you one!

Now onto more important questions. This has baffled me lately. Okay, so Palin (just reminding you that I’m not picking on her because she is a woman) is all anti-abortion and stuff and her teenage daughter is now infamously spermanated. I get it…you’re anti-abortion, pro-life, cool beans, go ahead and do what you believe in. BUT– I’ve been utterly confused lately by our beloved evangelical Christian people, who will now affectionately be referred to as the Jesus Camp. The Jesus Camp, filled with people I know, politicians, tv personalities seems to always be falling down big-time. Larry Craig: The Anti-Gay? Hittin’ up dudes for lovin’ in the airport bathroom. Sarah Palin: Abstinence only works?…but I still can’t guarantee results in my own family. Ted Haggard: Another Anti-Gay? Seeking out male prostitutes is fun though and it doesn’t make me gay.

Oh, yes, I know where you are going in your head, as my mother is so quick to remind me. It’s not the church’s fault that the Jesus Camp is made up of humans! If you think Jesus Camp is wild, wait until you get out in the real world!! Well, having taken down my tent in Jesus Camp and pitching it in “unchartered territory”, I haven’t really looked back. In fact, there are certain people and situations in a Jesus Camp I know of, that I purposefully stay away from because of how uncomfortable it makes me feel.

Please note, I am NOT saying that religious affiliation is the equivalent of hypocrisy. No, no, no. I will make a post about Jesus a little later. What I am saying is that there are certain camps (Jesus Camp is from that crazy movie that specifically examined a group of evangelical Christians) in the world who seem to believe that they are on a moral pedestal above the rest of the world. As a former evangelical Christian, I can’t even lie, that is EXACTLY how I thought. I just knew that the Bible meant x, y and z and if you didn’t follow those rules, well it was time for me to pray for you and ask that God would see it fit to forgive you. Yes, we all fell short but seriously if you broke the rules, you were really falling short.

Yes, I am suggesting that hypocrisy seems to be a problem in these camps. I don’t even pretend to be a religious guru anymore, nor do I proclaim the Bible as absolute Truth and even for just saying that I know I’ll be added to somebody’s prayer list haha. That’s cool with me though. For as much as I may appear to be a “softie” or “lost soul”, I still practice celibacy, Jesus is my favorite person in the world, I rarely drink and I only cuss out Sarah Palin, so maybe I’m still a bit of a fundamentalist after all?

Do or Do Not.

Now that I have found some semblance of normalcy in post-graduate life, I thought it would be nice to try and write about what has been going on. As I mentioned in the previous post, my mental/emotional/spiritual state went through some major changes throughout college. I have to admit that even though there seemed to be more downs than ups, something truly clicked at the beginning of my senior year semester. In the “aftermath” of graduation, I feel like I lost too much of that peaceful bliss and I have been trying to regain that feeling. Life is truly a funny thing sometimes-when you are wallowing around in confusion and depression, nothing seems to make sense or bring you peace, even though you KNOW what it truly takes to sustain you. You begin to second guess your dreams, your goals, your ambitions….

It is so important for us to write down our dreams and goals and constantly remind ourselves of what we are trying to work toward. There are too many methods of accomplishing this from Tim Ferriss’s Dreamlining worksheet to Stephen Covey’s Mission Statement process (Google ‘em up!) Unfortunately, getting a mental or spiritual hold on our deepest dreams and goals is only the first step in a lifelong process.

I’ve been addicted to this book I picked up the other day…I believe it is called Finding Your North Star by Martha Beck. Martha has been throwing me some Oprah “a-ha” moments left and right with this book. I think the most valuable thing I have taken away thus far is the concept of essential self and social self. For those of us non-psych majors, that is just referring to your “natural, deep gut feeling tendencies” vs your “I have to fit in with other people, what does society think?” urges. If you are like me, these two “selves” are almost never in harmony. How many times have you wanted to test your Chewbacca voice at the last party you were at, but stifled the urge because of what people might think about you? Or what about the time you wanted to find Rachel Ray and tell her where she could put that EVOO (or whatever the hell she talks about) but held back because of getting a citation from the law for stalking?

I’m sure there are a million and one ways to describe this constant battle between what we really want and what we think we should want to make society a happy camper. Obviously, stalking Rachel Ray would not be a good idea under any circumstance, so following the rules to a reasonable degree is always a good idea. Give to Ceasar what is Ceasar’s.

Butttt….

What happens when there is an unhealthy balance between your purpose/dreams/ambitions (the stuff inside) and your actions/what society sees (the stuff on the outside)?? There are also a million ways to describe this phenomenon from hypocrisy to depression. The process of moving from dreams or inner desires to reality or what society sees is so simple, yet so difficult. Nonetheless, it is an absolutely essential process.

I encourage you to take some time to think about your deepest dreams and desires and then compare that to the things you are doing on a day-to-day basis. My newfound “religion” is a much more holistic process as I mentioned earlier. I see God and spiritual beauty in just about everything that I do. Now, I am slowly making the transition to integrating my spiritual self with my social self.

Have you been secretly dreaming about swimming with the dolphins at Sea World and seeing how they respond to your Chewbacca growl? Start that dreams-to-reality process! Get a library book about dolphins. Talk to your neighbor about Sea World. Watch Flipper re-runs with your kids. Go over your grocery list to make sure you’re preparing your body to swim with those dolphins. Make sure that you are living in harmony with your deepest spiritual purposes, even if it’s as simple as a Sea World run.